Pocahontas Play
by TinaNekoJade
Summary: The G-boys and Sailor Scouts are putting on a production...Disney's Pocahontas! Very Funny! Please review.


AUTHORS NOTES: MWHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
Neko: Konnichiwa, minna-san! this is our fic.  
  
Tina: written by Neko and Myself.  
  
Neko: it is now 2:00 in the morning and we are both  
  
Both: INSANLY HYPER!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Tina: So, let's get on with it, shall we? Roll Disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own..... anything really. not even our own lives. we are controlled by an far more superior  
  
being that is one day convinced will rule the world, even though it has absolutly NO chance WHATso ever! um.....  
  
K, we're done.  
  
Pocahontas: Anime Style  
  
ROLES:  
  
Pocahontas ~ Tina  
  
John Smith ~ Heero  
  
Meeko ~ Neko's pet mongoose Tsuki!  
  
Flick ~ Quatre  
  
Kokoum (the brave warrior guy) ~ Trowa  
  
Cheif Powhatan ~ Treiz  
  
Percy ~ DII (short for Deathscythe II, a cross between a mongoose and a chibling, and is owned by Duo)  
  
Grandmother Willow (the tree) ~ Relena  
  
Thomas ~ Wufei  
  
Naiomi (Pocahontas' best friend) ~ Usagi  
  
Kikata (grandpa guy) ~ Duo  
  
Pochontas' Mother (yes, Pochontas' Mother IS the leaves) ~ Rei  
  
Governor Ratcliffe ~ Mamorou  
  
Wiggins (Ratcliffe's right hand man) ~ Rini  
  
Other woodland creatures, ship's crew, other indians, ect ~ everyone and anyone that's left. and i mean ANYone.  
  
Director: Neko Tenshi  
  
Neko: Okies, peoples! We need a script! who has the script? MINAKO! you were in charge of the script! were  
  
is it?  
  
Minako: right here! *hands HUGE stack of paper to Neko*  
  
Neko: *reads script* um, Minako?  
  
Minako: yeah?  
  
Neko: come here *leans over as if to whisper something in her ear* THIS IS THE WRONG SCRIPT! We are not EGUCATID enough to do HAMLET! (bad spelling pun, i know.)  
  
Minako: sorry....  
  
Neko: oh well. i'll just zap some up for us all! *two seconds later a giant stack of paper is ploped on the floor.*  
  
there *smiles proudly*  
  
Everyone enters the large.... place.....  
  
Neko: Okies! everyone in their costumes on the double! we're shooting in 5 minutes! 5 minutes!  
  
Wufei: What costumes, Onna? what are you planning?  
  
Tina: We're re-doing the Disney movie Pocahontas!  
  
Everyone besides Neko and Tina: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!  
  
Wufei: IIINNNJJJUUUSSSTTTIIICCCEEE!!!!!!  
  
Neko: just CHANGE already!  
  
5 MINUTES LATER...  
  
Tina comes out of the dressing room with the BIG yellow star on it.  
  
Tina: I AM NOT WEARING THIS!  
  
Neko: why?  
  
Tina: BECAUSE I CAN'T BREATHE!  
  
Heero walks out of yet another dressing room with a BIG yellow star on it wearing a tacky 16th century armor  
  
outfit thingie.  
  
Heero: i think you look nice  
  
Tina: .....i'll wear it.....  
  
Neko: Great! now where is everyone else?  
  
Duo walks out of another room in an old leather rob thing. His hair is down.  
  
Duo: Why do I have to be the grandpa dude?  
  
Neko: because this way, you don't get.... i mean HAVE..... to cut your hair. plus you get to play with smoke.  
  
Duo: Oh. Ok!  
  
Just then Quatre and Relena come out. Quatre is wearing a demented bird costume and Relena is wearing a giant  
  
paper Machea` tree, in which she can hardly move in.  
  
Relena: I'm NOT going to wear this.  
  
Neko: yes you are  
  
Relena: No i'm not  
  
Neko, Heero, Quatre, Tina, and Duo: yes you are.  
  
Relena: No i'm not!  
  
Everyone: YES YOU ARE! GET OVER IT!  
  
Relena: *pouts*....why couldn't i be Poker-haunt-us? then i could be with heero.....  
  
Heero: god give me strength....  
  
Neko: WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE ELSE?!?! we have to shoot NOW!  
  
everyone else comes out. Treiz is wearing buck skin shorts and an animal fur cape. Trowa is wearing buck skin  
  
shorts. Wufei is wearing 16th century peasent clothes. he grumbles. Usagi is wearing a buckskin tank top and  
  
skirt. Rei walks out wearing a black sweat pant and sweat shirt with little leaves attached to it and a basket of more  
  
leaves to toss. Mamoru is wearing fancy 16th century ugly PURPLE clothes and pillows stuck up the shirt. Last  
  
and most deffinatly least (except for MADDUP amo-butt) is Rini, wearing clothes similar to Mamoru's only, tan and  
  
skinnyer and smaller.  
  
Rei: why do i have to be the leaves?  
  
Neko and Tina: Because we said so.  
  
Neko: is that everybody? no, wait. DII! TSUKI!  
  
*the mongoose and.... thing..... run over from the doughnut table.  
  
Tina: food.....there is food here?....  
  
Heero: NO! NONE AT ALL! *glances nervously at Duo*  
  
Neko: *censing danger at the mention of food and Duo, she quickly leaps to action..... and falling flat on her face*  
  
Ow..... OK! Sceen One! England! All English dudes and other ship things report to set!  
  
Minako *with the sceen clip movie click thing that is black and white* Sceen One ! England! Break an Egg!  
  
Action!  
  
Heero: oh joy...tis a beautiful day in france for us to set sail....*wisper from side*  
  
Tina: its spain you baka...  
  
Heero: spain...whatever.....  
  
*eveyone lines up and scribbles on a peice of paper. eveyone gets on boat as mamoru arrives*  
  
the ship sets sails as they all sing...  
  
Heero: *talking to thomas/wufei* i've been to many other islands before what could be so different about this  
  
one?  
  
Neko: and ...cut!! break untill we get the set set up!  
  
*after much diffuctly with.... everything.... they are finally ready to begin.*  
  
Neko: *gets comfortable in her director's chair* Sceen 2, raging storm thingie!  
  
Minako: *with movie snapper thing* sceen 2! raging storm thingie! and ATOM!  
  
Neko: um.... Minako? it's Action! not Atom!  
  
Minako: oh, right... Action!  
  
*Boat rocks patheticly as water from a watering can pours onto Mamoru's head.*  
  
Neko: *whispers* que wind!  
  
*Duo turns on about 10 fans onto hi power.*  
  
Neko: *whispers* Que waves!  
  
*duo dumps a bucket of Water on Heero's head.*  
  
Heero: *trying to keep calm while sliping and sliding over to the cannon, which was actually a giant tube  
  
of some sort.*  
  
Wufei/thomas falls over board and you hear a loud squack form a baby pool surrounded by rubber duckys...  
  
Wufei: you didn't see that...  
  
Neko and Tina rub their foreheads: cut....  
  
5 MINUTES LATER...  
  
Neko: TINA! this is your big part thing! are you ready?!  
  
Tina:...........................yes?  
  
Neko: Good! Roll camera!  
  
Some annoying voice: Rolling camera  
  
Neko: Now turn on the friggin lights! i can't see a Damn thing!  
  
the lights magically turn on.  
  
Minako: *with movie thing* Sceen 3! waterfall! ACTION!!!!!!!  
  
Usagi: YO! Pocahontas! yur Dad's home! get your ass down here!  
  
Tina: *wimpers at the ledge......takes a running start and......jumps !!!!!!!!!!!!!!....falling*AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *PLOP*  
  
Tsuki jumps, too, but didn't know he was afraid of hights......... until he jumped.........  
  
Quatre: um..... flap flap..... *jumps*  
  
Tina tips over the caneoe and her and usagi flail their arms uselessly.  
  
Usagi: I CAN'T SWIM!!  
  
CAMERA VISION! the camera shot comes up from under both the girls.... and we have a perfect viewof up Usagi's  
  
shirt!  
  
Usagi: Ecchi's....  
  
Usagi and Tina TRY to get back in the boat... but fail numerous times..... and when they can finally get in..... it  
  
takes about 5 minutes to fugure out how to actually ROW the boat. they row away.  
  
Neko: CUT. ugh. i need a break. everyone, go........ do stuff.......  
  
Heero: Hey neko i have to talk to you about this play/movie thing......  
  
Neko: k, shoot.  
  
Heero: Neko...*he actually makes an expression ....it's worried...dan dan dan*everyone thinks you're sort of um...  
  
going a little writers happy....and i'm starting to agree with them..  
  
Neko: *silence*.................... rrrrreeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaallllyyyyyyyyyyy..............................*pulls out a shiny silver  
  
revolver and hides it behind her back* *calmly* Heero, call everyone over here.  
  
everyone gathers.  
  
Neko: Now i've heard- *looks in front of her and sees 7 little old dwarvs.* *she leans down to them.* uh, guys?  
  
this is Pocahontas...... not snow white....... SO LEAVE!  
  
the 7 little men leave.  
  
Neko:*standing up* now, i've heard that you all are thinking that i'm getting a little.... writer's happy..... *pulls  
  
out revolver and twirls it around her finger* and i just wanted to tell you.....*stops twirling the gun.*  
  
Everyone: *---*  
  
Jade: *enters from nowhere....looks at Neko* don't even think about it.....  
  
Neko: i wasn't going to......  
  
Jade: *looks around see's Heero...trys to control her laughter*what the hell are you supposed to be?  
  
Neko: LETS TRY THE NEXT SCEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!roll camera!  
  
Minako: *with movie thing again*SCEEN 4!!!!!VILLAGE PLACE PART THING......  
  
Tina: *pulls up in caneoe*  
  
Treiz: Thanx to Kokoum our villages are safe again.  
  
Everyone: *cheers*  
  
Usagi: he is soooo handsome....*rolls eyes*  
  
Tina: father. welcome home. *hugs treiz*  
  
Treiz: come my daughter we must walk.....i mean talk....we must talk.....  
  
Tina follows Treiz into a tent.  
  
Tina: father latley i've been having this cream....  
  
Neko: IT'S DREAM!!!!!  
  
Tina: oh, yes.......sorry....  
  
Treiz: *caugh* what kind of dream?  
  
Tina: um......hold on...*pulls out skript....reads*oh, yes it's a spinning arrow...I think it means something exciting is  
  
about to happen....  
  
Treiz: something exciting is about to happen*thinks: and i wish it was this fic ending*um.....kokoum has asked for  
  
your hand in marrage....  
  
Neko: and CUT!!! lets take a 5 minute break!!!!!!*looks at watch* okay breaks over.......  
  
Duo: that wasn't 5 minutes!!!!!  
  
Neko: DON'T REALLY CARE!!!!!!  
  
Minako: *movie marker thing*Sceen 5!!!Pocahontas talks to grandmother willow!!!!!  
  
Relena: Yes!!!this is my part!  
  
Neko: ROLL CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tina: *gets into caneoe.....rides down river singing.......comes to grandmother willow(relena)*  
  
Relena: hello child......whats wrong?  
  
Tina: My father wants me to marry kokoum....  
  
Relena: *laughs* Trowa!!!!!!!!!!!ha ha ha.....  
  
Neko: stick to the script!!!!!  
  
Relena: listen to the wind....there you will find ....um....something...  
  
Rei: *frolics in the backround throughing leaves around singing*  
  
Relena:........right......um....anyway......what do the leaves tell you child?  
  
Tina: somethings comeing.......strange clouds?*climbs up relena*  
  
Relena: *in pain from tina sitting on her head* what....d-do ...you......see c-c-child?...ow....  
  
Tina: Clowns......strange clowns.......  
  
Neko: It's CLOUDS you baka!!!!!!  
  
Tina: oh yeah....i knew that.......*ahem* clouds.....straight clouds.....  
  
Neko: as opposed to what? GAY clouds? oh well......  
  
you see a chicken leg  
  
Neko: CUT!!!!!!!!!!!!WHO ADDED THE CHICKEN LEG?!!!!  
  
Duo: um....well the boat in a box hasn't arrived yet so.....we used a chicken leg instead....  
  
Neko: did you think i wasn't going to notice?  
  
Duo: um........i'm not going to answer that question...  
  
Neko: *sigh*  
  
Tina: alright people!!!!!!!!!sceen 6!!!!!  
  
Neko: places!!!!!  
  
Minako: *with movie marker* Sceen 6!!!Boat docks, John meets meeko, and the fat dude sings his dirt song!!!  
  
Neko: action!!!  
  
The chicken leg hits the side of green clay as little wood figures get off....  
  
Heero: *starts to climb a ledge made out of cardboard*  
  
Wuffie: *throughs back rope from the "boat"* here you go John!!!John?....John?.....  
  
Heero: i'm up here stupid....  
  
Wuffie: hey what are you doing up there?...  
  
Heero: getting a better look...*cardboard collapses from under him.....he falls on his butt*  
  
Wuffie: *starts to crack up*  
  
Neko: *rubs forehead* cut....  
  
Minako: *with movie marker* Sceen 6!!!!take 2!!!!  
  
Heero: *on top of a ledge looking around*  
  
Tsuki: *craws out of bush that tina is in*  
  
Heero: *turns around.......trips.....falls on his ankle......snap* ow...*with absolutly no emotion*  
  
Tina: *runs out from bush* are you okay?????  
  
Tsuki: *takes bread from Heero's hand bag thing*  
  
Tina: tsuki!!!give that back!!!!!*fights for it....loses*  
  
Neko: cut...  
  
Minako: *movie marker* Sceen 6...*yawn* take 3...  
  
Mamorou/darien: *with about 10 pillows stuffed under his shirt sings his little dirt/gold song while all the other  
  
people run around him digging up absolutly nothing*  
  
Neko: CUT!!!!!finally we're done with that sceen!!!!  
  
Minako: um...neko?  
  
Neko: what?  
  
Minako: um...nevermind...  
  
Neko: *sigh* whats the next sceen?...  
  
Minako: *marker* Sceen 6 1/2. Heero sings his land song...thing....  
  
Heero: um....no....  
  
Neko: ooooooooh noooo....your not getting out of this one.....  
  
Heero: but nekoooooo.........*puppy face*  
  
Tina: wait...did that just happen?  
  
*rewind*  
  
Heero: Neko.....no way. *same old boring face*  
  
Tina: nope.  
  
Heero: fine..........  
  
Neko: roll camera!  
  
Heero: all of my life i've drained of a band like this one.........all these adventures, and dangers,  
  
and yeah.......the end.  
  
Neko: good enough...  
  
Minako: *marker* sceen 7....duo plays with smoke...  
  
Duo: yes!!!  
  
Neko: action....  
  
Duo: *in the tent thing with the villagers*  
  
Treiz: what do you see Kikata?...  
  
Duo: *throughs dirt on the fire....the fire goes out instead of smoke rising*  
  
Neko: cut...get a new fire going.....duo?........dont through dirt on it....  
  
Duo: yes ma'am...........what should i through on it then?  
  
Neko: i don't care.......bricks...........  
  
Minako: *m/m* Sceen 7...take 2...  
  
Duo: *throughs bricks on fire*  
  
Neko: que smoke...  
  
Tina: *uses a smoke machine to fill the room........the fire alarm goes off.......water comes out of the celing and puts  
  
out the fire along with soaking everyone*  
  
Neko: *drenched* cut...  
  
Tina: Oops...hee hee hee........um....so.......whats the next sceen?...  
  
Minako: don't look at me...  
  
Tsuki: *brings tina a script*  
  
Tina: HEY!!!!!!!!THIS IS ME AND HEEROS MEETING SCEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: hurray...  
  
Minako: *m/m*Sceen 8!!!!!John and pocker meet!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Neko: action.....  
  
Heero: *at the water fall washing his face..........falls in......jumps out quickly* YIKES!!!!THATS COLD!!!!!  
  
Tina: *watching him from a ledge of ''plastic'' ( that looks like cheep cardboard )*  
  
Heero: *gets the feeling someone is watching him.....looks around.....dissapears into the water fall*  
  
Tina: *trys to move quietly down the hill of cardboard plastic that is painted ugly brown*  
  
Heero: *loading his gun*  
  
Tina: *steps onto a stone all crouched down*  
  
Heero: *jumps through the water fall and points his gun at her*  
  
Tina: *stands up slowly and the wind does that thing with her hair that makes her look really cool*  
  
Heero: *wimpers as he has to put down the gun........he starts to walk toward her*  
  
Tina: *starts to run.....trips on a stone....falls in the water.......gets up.....keeps running*  
  
Heero: wait...please don't run off.....*looks a script* John runs after Pocahontas...*walks after tina*  
  
Tina: *starts to get in coneue at river*  
  
Heero: *grabs tina's arm*please don't run off........i'm not going to hurt you.* thinks::yeah right::*  
  
Tina: *mumbles some words in indian*noc a wait to doc a.....  
  
Heero: you don't understand a word i'm saying do you?....  
  
Tina: *steps out of coneue*  
  
Heero: what is your name?...  
  
Tina: poca- *looks at script* -hontas........  
  
Heero: what?....  
  
Tina: my name is pocahontas........  
  
Rei: *frolics in the backround throughing leaves*  
  
Heero: *leans over and kisses tina*  
  
Neko: cut!!!!!  
  
Heero: what?.........  
  
Neko: why'd you kiss her?......  
  
Heero: because it says so in the script.........*points to script*  
  
Neko: alright.......whos changing the script..........  
  
Duo: *looks up.....hides marker behind his back......smiles* yeah who's changing the script?.........  
  
Neko: DUO!!!!!!YOU CHANGED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????  
  
Duo: just a little bit.........  
  
Neko: *sigh* Next sceen.  
  
Minako: Sceen Nine! The english people see the indians!  
  
Mamorou: dig up my gold! and hurry!  
  
Rini: Look sir! indians! *points*  
  
*The indians shot bow and arrows as the english people fire their guns. an extra gets shot. it's zechs.  
  
Zechs: shit! Neko you bi***!!! that was a real gun. *legs bleeding*  
  
Neko: Oops...  
  
Tina: cut....  
  
Neko: next sceen. *looks at zechs* sorry zechs...  
  
Minako: Sceen ten. um...i forget what it's called...oh well....  
  
Neko: it's when tina and heero are talking!  
  
Jade: you're skipping a sceen.  
  
Neko: who cares.  
  
Minako: action!  
  
Heero: it's called a helmet.  
  
Tina: *looking at her reflection* helmet.  
  
Heero: you have such strange grains here. koukahantic.  
  
Neko: *slaps forehead* it's names not grains!  
  
Tina: and you have to most unusual name. john smith.  
  
Tsuki: *rumages through heero's bag for food*  
  
Tina: Meeko!  
  
Quatre: flap...flap...peck....  
  
Heero: i remember you.  
  
Quatre: flap...  
  
Tsuki: *pulls out compass*  
  
Tina: meeko. give that back.  
  
Heero: don't worry. he cant hurt it.  
  
Tsuki: *took that as a chalenge. hits it against a rock. it breaks.*  
  
Neko: cut! Tsuki! we needed that for later!  
  
Tsuki: *shrugs*  
  
Neko: We'll take a break until I can Zap in a new compass thing...........  
  
Authors Notes: I'll try to get the rest out later but I can't promise Anything.....  
  
You know me..........out to lunch 24/7. Hope 2 C U later!!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: onna.........you'll pay.......I had to sing.........  
  
Author: um.....................gotta go!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
